winter is coming [millennial type beat]

soundtrack of the day: over and over // bowery electric

 it's the time of year where, as i write this, it is 4:39 pm, and the sun is already decidely low upon the horizon. by 5:15 it will be dark outside, and i will have only been awake for 3 and a half hours. adjustments have been made, outside excursions have become more of a daily routine, but still today i woke up feeling wholly depressed. nothing in particular, i don't think. too much cozy sleep until it becomes debilitating grogginess. the sisyphean struggle of keeping atop of the old , trying the new, making itme for friends, making time for myself. one thing i never thought would happen to me: i'm now the flaky friend. another thing : i like being the flaky friend. flakiness, i've learned (time and time again, not only this once, so maybe i should say am still learning) is crucial to creation, to artistry, to learning and development of self. 

i love my friends, and i love the things my friends share with me and hope that i will enjoy, but if i don't give myself the time, how will i ever be able to read the books they recommend, listen to the albums, watch the movies/shows, let alone find things of my own to share in return?

honestly i've said enough on this. im boring myself just writing it out, ive thought over it so many times. and im sure i've written abt it before too. 

the main point of this post is to record (for myself more than you, honestly) the things i am in the process of finishing so that this winter i can really bite this adhd neverfinishing thing in the jugular. 

1. mad men made it all the way to the final season with lane (roommate), but we never finished it
2. cowboy bebop literally just haven't seen the last episode
3. NGE
• End of Evangelion
• the reworks or whatever they're called? the three movies after end of
4. Berserk i am further than i have ever been before but have about a third of it left
5. The Moor's Last Sigh salman rushdie book i never finished and may have to start over at this point
6. Naruto im almost done w the original series, actually am active with this rn 
7. Final Fantasy XIV storyline want to finish this by the time the new expansion is released next summer
8. FUGA: Melodies of Cold Steel
9. Final Fantasy IX
10. Crisis Core: Reunion
11. Persona 5 Royal i am very close to end of main story but hAVE at least another 20 hours of play ><
12. SMT IV i dont know what finihsing this game even looks like but i want to go further than i have and if i don't pick it back up soon, i will probably have no idea what im trying to do anymore
13. homestuckreread

that being listed, i wonder if i can list all the things i have done this year

probably not, maybe can list the video games ive played, but not sure it's worth the headache or stress of the number being stressfully low lmao

yeah thi s was definitely for my benefit BUT 

hello