2022 trend predictions

no particular order and no explanation given

wave 1

1. homestuck resurgence, becomes retro cool 
2. wedge sneakers (Isabel marant)
3. 3OH!3 frat party music comes back
4. shutter shades
5. Korea / korean culture continues to become more relevant/hip (partially due to Ariana grande)
6. Pete davidson baby daddy scandal OR he gets me too'd and deserves it
7. return of euro-techno discotheque music on the radio, faux vocal trance (think Lasgo)
8. dnb becomes the new chic pop music format
9. thinspo culture unfortunately returns
10. rookie mag-esque magazine collage journalling ??
11. clowns are out (related to the garden)
12. ironic prep is back in 
13. army green 
14. reggaeton again (but specifically like summer 2018 when daddy yankee was rly big)
15. arca goes mainstream. like, american awards show mainstream
16. marvel bubble bursts
17. baby Yoda bubble does not, unfortunately, burst
18. the skinny feathers people used to wear in their hair come back
19. sorority sisters become e-girls; e-girl/sanrio fashion becomes irrevocably normie
20. girl next door type resurgence

denouement... or simply charging up..????

 hello world ^-^

as a firm believer in everything happening for some reason or another (we find patterns in the universe because they exist, or something like that) i am delighted to inform you all that I was just FIRED!!!!!1!!!

no /s here, unfortunately. truth and facts only. no more job. fired. 

it's strange how leaving a job can feel like a breakup-- in this case one where I'm being broken up with... I'm not choosing to leave, and now I won't ever see my coworkers all together again, or have a Kirin lager for my shift drink, or blah blah blah so on and so forth it's WEIRD right??? made worse by the fact that I actually really liked my job, and could see myself working there for at least the next year or more...

anyways, now I have a bunch of free time which I plan to spend heaaaavily chilling and relaxing and storing up energy for the upcoming weekkk which is bound to be epic and also so exhausting. am obviously going to see all my friends play and dj on Thursday and Friday and then probably will dance with friends all weekend and then the next week is the death by sheep holiday party so 10000000 million music friends and peers from all over the country will be flying in and showing out that weekend too! I was planning on working 800000 shifts before and after this two week period in order to save up money but oh well! play the cards that I'm given

things I have been into lately:

1. ableton

2. pokemon sword for switch

3. uggs / fur shoes and boots

4. cross body satchels 

5. gossip girl

6. mad men

7. using chopsticks for everything

8. myspace remixes/blog house

9. skincare routine

10. Jane says by Jane's Addiction

listen. the new gossip girl. it is so good. Lane (my roommate) and I were having a conversation about the new gossip girl and how it might be the greatest show of the year. I know that sounds overblown and presumptuous but something about it scratches such the perfect itch...

my theory on HBOmax gossip girl

is more or less that. The formula of the original series was good. Ensemble cast, you have the sort of Breakfast Club lineup, some drama and involvement from adults but not overwhelmingly so, etc etc. But the original show was made in the time of The Hills, of the reality TV bloom and page 6 it-girl culture. The characters were all relatively flat, because they didn't need to be complex. Serena was the happy-go-lucky Paris Hilton type, Dan Humphrey was the outcast Brooklynite poet, Blair was the classic spoiled rich kid, the list goes on. A lot of original GG's success relied on cultural relevancy and a great music soundtrack, the hallmarks of any good show from the early oughts. But these flat characters led to some crazy and surreal circumstances, and made it easy for them to hurt each other again and again in increasingly ridiculous ways ( a true soap opera , really ).

What the new iteration does is take the original formula and add a twist. The same ensemble cast (the actors even use bits of the original actors' speech patterns or acting styles in the new roles), the same rapid and extreme romantic arcs, but the characters aren't flat. there's soooo much nuance to their thoughts, actions, and they actually face consequences in ways that aren't strictly punitive, but are rather realistic and even healthy outcomes of their own actions,? basically YES I am saying that the new gossip girl BREAKS the TRAUMA CYCLES set up for the original characters by the first iteration of the show. they learn and grow and change for the better (and yes sometimes for the worst) but there is marked thought put into what is actually happening in their lives and minds... 

and before you say anything, I truly wanted to hate this show. I started watching it with the express purpose of hating it and/or finding ways to laugh at it because it looked far too terminally relevant to actually be good. but I was so wrong

I have never seen a show (or any piece of media, really) before this one that effectively and accurately communicates .. living in the current internet/media cultureclimate? they go on Grindr, ffs. and reddit. and they use all of the different apps and things exactly how I use them in real life, not like the typical stiff/forced ways most movies and tv shows address the internet. (if they address it at all. I don't remember who brought this idea up to me, but someone told me they think that so many shows are made now about the mid-to-late twentieth century because directors and writers don't have to address the cell-phone issue whatsoever. just a theory)

anyways against my best judgement I am truly obsessed with this show and I love every single thing they are doing with it and I am wrapped up so deeply in it now

final thoughts????

this has been an incredibly scattered post but I feel like today has been a pretty low energy/scattered day for me so it makes sense. tonight is the new moon in sagittarius leading up to a full solar eclipse early tomorrow morning, so it's a huge time to settle into oneself and set some serious long term intentions. focusing on the cycles of the moon and making an effort to really engage myself with that energetic exchange has been hugely beneficial to my life, I highly recommend it. 

my dad sent me my old down comforter from when I was in high school, which is awesome and super warm. I have gone from the problem of being too cold at night to now being far, far too warm, which is maybe better? jury is still out

very very excited for the rest of december and even into january am on big things coming mode... really focusing my energy and honing my practice etc etc etc blah blah blah it is clearly time for this post to be done!!!

a/n: if you made it this far you're truly insane and I respect you this was a ridiculous stream of consciousness from start to finish xox sasha

THE VIBRANCY OF THE RHYTHM ^---^

 long time no talk, hi hi hi, lots that has happened and yet less time has passed than I thought it would have by now. it's really true what they say about a New York minute... my life has shifted so grandly and so often for the last two months that I am in a near constant state of metamorphosis, and adapting at speeds I didn't know I could manage. I feel like im walking a very fine line between pleasure and pain??, because see there's been these moments of pure ecstasy, moments of alignment and happenstance and energy happening all the time, but there's also raw sadness. it's strange how those things can cancel out, like how fire and ice will make a lukewarm bath... 

I've been pushing myself to the limit with the extravagant fun-having, though. foolishly forgetting to use my camera at many awesome events (foolish!!!!) but living in the moment so they say... finally getting better at staying through the rave and to the afters (have been practicing for that). have not, however, gotten better at hiding my post-rave self from my boss, I did just get reprimanded yesterday, but they're really cool about things for the most part and I'm doing my job (very glamorous! serving and bartending!) well so who cares? 

I do have a confession to make. I've been kind of a flake. I've no-showed on friends more than once in the last couple of weeks and I'm not proud of it but it is so easy to get caught up in a rhythm once you're on a certain wave! this past weekend for instance i wanted to go to my coworker's musical performance but I ended up going to three raves and by the end of the third (into Sunday) I was so lost about what day was what that it completely slipped my mind and I ended up on sam and mica's couch watching the matrix all night. the thing about New York is that everyone does that and everyone is chasing their own vibe, and I think I know that, but it's hard to shake the guilt still when I fuck up ! whatever I think I'm too hard on myself cause I wouldn't ever blame anyone else for missing my shows and whateverrr

haven't been consuming any media really lately. I have been watching Mad Men actually, so that was a lie, but I've not really had the time to watch a lot of it. I think I like it, although I spend half the time turning to my roommate and saying "dude, can you IMAGINE?" (she can imagine). listening mostly back to my old dj mixes and to new music (scoping for future mixes). haven't really watched any good movies lately except for how I was reminded last night that the matrix is so wicked epic... just got new xbox controllers and my first serious paychecks since unemployment ended so I'm trying to get back into some video game action here soon too. but predominantly focusing on music production. yaaaa. backlogs and backlogs of collaborations or projects I've told people (including myself) that I would finish but I finally feel like I have the energy and drive and environment to really be doing it.. even though I am sitting here right now and stream-of-consciousness writing this blog post rather than doing production.

which reminds me of why I really sat down to write this post anyways -- does anyone know what it is about nyc and energy that makes it so that I've had less sleep in the last month than I have in maybe a year prior, and yet I'm more charged and ready to create than ever before? I swear I get three hours of sleep and feel more capable and energetic than I did when I was getting 9 hours a night. it's like being in high school again -- you know how in high school you would wake up at like 5:30am and then go to choir or swim practice or whatever before classes and then you would take 8 hours of classes and then you would do sports or theatre or something after school and then you would do homework and STILL somehow find time to play video games or make art or hang out on Skype with your friends or whatever??? that's what it's been like lately. very very strange and intense but a welcome intensity. 

that being said I am going to try to take a brief nap now because I am so sleepy!!! ^__^ good afternoon good evening good night see you soon 

falling away into the digiverse

okay, I'm awake, now what???  

waking up every morning and the sky is all grey (which, by the way, I forgot??? or didn't know,? that it would be like this in the northeast too... or I forgot. it reminds me too much of Seattle's stormy weather...). Grey morning sky does not do well for my brain. I prefer when the sun arcs through the sky and lets me feel the passage of time, greatly prefer it to the limbic stasis incurred by flat, low, grey, wet sky, and all day the same sky. 

anyways, days like this sometimes capture me like a bug in a spider's web. I get all stuck struggling to escape it somehow... thoughts felt wildly through my head. Go to a park! Read a book! Find someone to hang out with! Find a movie to watch! Find a way to MAXIMIZE, at any and all costs! No day, no hour, no moment can be wasted, especially not on a grey and hopeless day like today, in fact, whatever I do, it has to be ten times as big as something for a normal day, 100 times even, and so on...

I have a tendency to get hung up on the possibilities, as well. can't get out of the house if I'm always thinking of all the different things that I could possibly do when I leave the house. 

anyways, I've been thinking about a lot of things. all the time I'm thinking of a lot of things. but one of the many things I've been thinking about is the form I want this blog to take, or rather the many shapeshifting forms I want it to vaguely embody. here is a list of current influences on my mind and life to best explain where I'm thinking about wanting it to go: 

1. The Show About the Show which is a quasi-reality show made by Caveh Zahedi in which each episode is about the episode before. many debates ensue over whether he is a messiah of radical honesty or just a gigantic asshole. but his methodology at least in season one has been a huge influence on my course of thought about life or whatever

okay I realize I do not actually want to explain every single thing I'm thinking about because I'll get too distracted let's just bullet them all then

1. The show about the show
2. mark fisher and "k-punk"
3. CCRU
4. nick land's "meltdown" (less for content than writing style)
5. midwest emo
6. indie underground street fashion or whatever you want to call it. this one father and his daughter I saw on the street who was wearing JNCOs tucked into Telfar Uggs taking an epic photo of his daughter wearing a foam 10 gallon hat.
7. new jersey
8. east coast emo
9. what the dog doin?
10. Tumblr and its ensuing anonymity / carefree nature
11. the dissolution of liminal / creative internet spaces
12. not who I want to be, but what I want to engage with, see, consume, etc
13. portishead
14. how much I do not like instagram as a platform because it does not suit me in almost any way (I need to reevaluate how I use it I've been thinking of archiving everything and wiping it clean for fun)
15. muddy forests. how much I like being barefoot outside (not in nyc sidewalks obviously)
16. the failure of pitchfork
17. my own quality music taste -u-
18. my own psychological limitations
19. self-imposed restriction and subsequent mental liberation
20. this YouTube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZHrIHqVFzU

okay, I have removed that long list of random influences from my head, and now that you have seen that, let's move to what this blog is going to be. because I'm not a lifestyle person, I've never really been someone who was good at selling my own lifestyle, and I find it kind of intrinsically performative in a way that isn't fun to me? but which is super fun for others it's just not my thing and that's fine anyways

I will be sharing my playlists, contemplations about music, about media, about art, about whatever, really. I'll still be posting pictures of myself and my outfits because I'm really finding pleasure in that lately (dressing myself up). I want to post some movie and book reviews or contemplations or whatever. I want to engage with a lot of thoughts that I have and with thoughts others have and I think this can be a really good place to do that. I will probably start taking pictures of people I see on the street more often if I can. I want to shift my primary method of sharing to the blog, probably. who knows, maybe it will feel comfortably anonymous for long enough, or maybe it will become burdensome in its own way in time, but for now

I view this blog as an escape into a forgotten world where expression is unbound from rules and regulations, where the fetters of social graces can fall away into the digiverse. this is my own liminal space now.  

some pictures. 

the stars are out of alignment

 oof, has it really been almost two weeks since I last posted anything? I guess I have been busy. time drags on forever and still it passes in the blink of an eye...

does anyone else feel like the stars have been out of whack lately? something in the sky pulling everything in crazy directions and tugging at the heartstrings like one giant Apollonian lyre. I know it's mercury retrograde among other things, but this is so grandiose....

(for the record, mercury retrograde does have a big impact on the way we experience our lives. ^.^' technology malfunctioning, miscommunications, losing of items, losing oneself...) 

I can speak to that, personally, having lost at least 3 things I cared not to lose during the Rx. Some of them have thankfully just been misplaced at friends' houses or the like, but losing things is hard for me,? I fixate on them (ADHD) and sometimes have disproportionate reactions to the loss. Insomnia and weeping type reactions,? Especially frustrating because 95% of the year this is an issue I've quashed. I may have atypical management methods, sure, but I'm usually very good at keeping things under control in my own way. This kind of losing jewelry and jackets makes me feel like I'm 8 years old coming home from the school playground again, and my dad's getting mad at me because I left my new coat...

Anyways, just bringing that up because I'm sure at least some of you can relate. I don't hear many people talk about it, but I know I must be far from the only one who feels that. YOU ARE NOT ALONEZ!

lol

Also have been rethinking how I post on here. How I post everywhere, really. The "performance" part of my projected online persona has lost all of the "performance" and feels much more performative now, so I'm shaking it all up. Trying to. I want to talk about books I've read, about the things I'm thinking about philosophically and spiritually, musically, whatever really, in an open-hearted and non-pretentious way, with people other than myself. But I can't have that dialogue if I never engage with it. 

things im reading

for anyone's pleasure and for my own documentation

1. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers 
1. For the record I love Dave Eggers. He's a brilliant author and word-magician. A guy who's really not afraid to push the liquid limits of where the written word can go, what methodologies can be used to craft the world we (the readers) are taken to. He jumps from subject matter to subject matter with ease and grace. Really a philosopher in author form. This book is no different, but it is his own autobiography. Highly recommend
2. The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger
1. OK there's not much to say about this book that hasn't already been said before, I'm sure everyone has their comedic opinions on it,? But honestly rereading it with more self-understanding and less angst than I had when I first read it (sophomore year of high school maybe? I remember having a friend who was sooooo into the book that they bought a hunting hat just like Holden Caulfield's and wore it backwards like him too). Anyways really like the book more now. He's not so much annoying as he is misguided, I think. IDK for sure. I'm not finished with the book yet heh
3. The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
1. I decided to reread this after ranting for an hour to a lover about how hilarious Hemingway is with his strongman puffedchest obvious COPING via this book.... and everything he did...!!! he's the human equivalent of a pick up truck with ridiculously giant rims for no reason. of an old man with Oakleys and a red Ford Mustang. Anyways this book is still beautiful (rereading it ofc) and I do personally believe it to be autobiographical

yes I am reading all of these at once and yes it is because I am a bit of a spazz

alright that's about what I had to think about for the day! I'm waiting for a phone call from this guy I found on Craigslist who needed actors for some promo shoot for his friend's company...? I think it's an app maybe. Whatever either way would be cool to make some money and be back in front of a camera again because acting is fun! HMU for your acting needs please

goodbye!

Sasha xoxo

so little sleep I almost drove myself insane

reading: What is the What by Dave Eggers

listening: 80s Japanese ambient and old Ke$ha

watching: rewatching Neon Genesis Evangelion with my roommate, Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

t-3s all systems go for launch!

okayyyy, so this past weekend was a whirlwind chaos of shows and late nights and missed trains and anxiety but I made it through and looked amazing thee whole time and met some new friends so overall a huge success! 

here's the brief debriefing, bc every single night was a chaotic spin of unexpected gifts and spontaneous encounters until I somehow stumbled into bed at 4AM on Monday with the need to sleep for a million years (or longer, if possible). 

Thursday: Doss in Manhattan

okay day 1 of our long and strange weekend is the Doss and Juliana Huxtable show at [secret location] ((Chelsea market)) on a Thursday evening. I honestly had no intentions of going to either show that night because I had big plans to watch TV and practice mixing but the Lord works in mysterious ways and my friend Henry hit me up with an extra ticket a mere 24 hours before showtime~! And so, from one branch sprouts another tree, I cop another ticket via Instagram comments for Lane, and on Thursday evening we're off to see the races. Or rather, the ravers.

Oh, and I can't forget the outfit (I almost forgot to mention it). I am a firm believer in James St. James á la club kid culture, and therefore am always an avid supporter of thee craziest possible clothes and accessories. Of course, I am also an avid supporter of dancing as much as possible, and therefore it is a hard and fast rule that nothing you wear should ever keep you from grooving to the music! Toeing the line between the two things is difficult, but can be walked with grace if you know what to look for. I suggest covert athletic gear (including swimsuits) and lots of crops/loose layers over it... example A

Jeans crafted by my roommate from Seattle, Chela, to whom I owe my life for pushing me confidently back into the world of crazy and club-kid-esque fashion. The jacket I got at the goodwill bins and is absolutely meant for hunting birds or something in the forest.

Probably my first club show in Manhattan, and I'll gladly admit that I had one too many strong drinks en route to location from my apartment in Brooklyn. But there is no simpler pleasure than brown bagging it on thee train from Brooklyn into the city,  it is how you say thee spice of life! 

And then to add a dumb decision to a silly one, upon meeting up with Henry we decide the club is not yet packed enough, and so to pass the time we should absolutely go buy another drink at the bodega down the street. I choose (irresponsibly) a Surge, because a regular White Claw just *wouldn't* have been strong enough (/s). Here's the pictures (u can judge for yourself!):

Yes. Los borrachos, it would seem. But fun is fun and we had lots of it! Doss was an amazing DJ, I would advise anyone who loves to go dance to see them post-haste. Also, the Chelsea Market had the best bathrooms of any club I've been to yet, with floor to ceiling doors and like eight clean and big private stalls. 

Epic opportunity for the cig break arises and here we meet new friends, or rather friends we had met briefly at the beginning of the show before going in. We are all very chic and glamorous and fun and I am in no way too drunk at this point at all!! 

lovely sexy cool tramp stamp on alex

Saturday: Melting Point NYCcccc

okay so Friday I actually did get some good rest for an evening, recording a mix for some people in Lebanon in the afternoon and working on some barbarian/druid/world of warcraft chic pieces. (more on that later once I have more of a collection to share!) I watched Bad Lieutenant II: Port of New Orleans with my roommates, which is a Werner Herzog movie from 2006 starring Nicholas Cage??? I was really very unsure about it when we started watching it but it was shockingly good??? Felt like Uncut Gems in some ways but with all of the classic Herzog elements peeking through (so much less harsh reality and more of the cynical irony?? and also just flagrant/humorous insanity at times???) ANYways finished that and went to sleep. Saturday was to be my Big Debut.

Of course, I'm not fooling myself or anyone and thinking I'm Tiesto now or something. I feel really honored to be asked to play and had a lot of fun playing whatever I wanted, I was trying a more experimental assemblage of genres and BPMs/rhythms than I typically play at a show. Early slots (I played 10:15-11PM) are really good opportunities to toy with the system and push the boundaries of a typical club/dance set. I like trance and psychedelic techno, so I like to have lots of gaps of breath, of wiggly synths and spoken word samples to carry the mind downstream along the river, which sometimes can be harder to pull off later in the evening or whatever,,,,,, anyways I had fun playing!!! <---- me talking too much

(admittedly I get nervous playing trance sometimes because it can be so hit or miss. RVA, I look fondly to you, because nowhere else yet have I dropped a Tiesto or Armin van Buuren song to so much unanimous cheering and crying. Only in Richmond have I experienced someone come up to me weeping with emotion after my set, and I thank you for that!) 

me and my wings -- best photo of my outfit that exists as I wore it to the rave! I was wearing some cool mad max style wedges with knit leg warmers too, but you'll have to image that urself

best photo to exist of me in thee makeshift booth and yes my wings did get stuck!

After I played I made a fatal error -- I left my controller in the booth. Yes, I doomed it to a nighttime of imprisonment, to be released at 4am the next morning or whenever the last DJ played... I dipped out around 2am to grab food and pass the time until the very end of the rave, because I felt like if I didn't get coffee and eat eggs right then in a nice diner I would die.... so Alex and I hopped on a bus that happened to be stopping by just then and ended up in Williamsburg at the Sunset Diner. Cannot praise this place highly enough for a genuine 24-hour experience, the servers are kind, the coffee is fresh and amazing, and while a patty melt seems steep at first at $12, I will say it was HUGE and fresh and tasty. 

2013 Tumblr famous type glamor shot!!!

of course, of all thee things to forget, turns out Melting Point was the first day of Mercury RETROGRADE, so of course, my efforts to ride a train or bus back to the venue to grab my stuff before 4:30AM were doomed by the stars to be futile... shout out to quetzal for lugging my controller and laptop back to their home and savingggg my ass in the end,,, <3 much love!!

N E ways on Sunday I rescued my gear from Quetzal's loving care, ended up loafing at the grove by accident for hours, and then was airlifted back 2 the sweet embrace of my apartment by friend (who has a car)! did not get to go to sleep until 5am again that night (another circumstance out of my control, I swear!) but rest assured that as I write this post, I did receive at least one full night of sleep. 

xoxo until next time!

sasha akafae

inside of u are 2 wolves

ahh, here it is again ~! the sweet apple crisp of fall, the crunchiness of the *oh so* play leaves, the back-to-school-vibes and shopping mall trips and new horizons... or whatever. Once u graduate college your whole outlook on the yearly cycle changes. weird 2 me how the american worldview sets us all up for this superstructured year2year existence where seasons have meaning and the passage of time is a noble parade. Personally, once I left university I realized that anytime could be any time I wanted it to be and I never looked back. Fading of holiday and seasonal cycles of consumption, etc etc, does anyone relate?

Anyways, the big plans for the day and every day are as follows: Neon Genesis Evangelion. Listen to 60s rock n' roll music. Read more books. Catch up on all of the sundry musical commitments I maaaay have made and not followed through on nearly as quickly as I wanted to --! And not go out almost at all OwO. In a hyper-post-ironic sort of way I have moved to the hustling and bustling New York City with the core intention of settling into the routine of my work and spending most of my passing time in my room [meme where the guy's like "where do u work out?" "at the library" except it's me in my room].

Anyways, as it still is autumn and this is supposed 2 b where I show off all of my glamorous, highly sought after looks and outfits, I'll let u all in on thee little secrets of my fall wardrobe covets. With pictures, of course. 

A/N: ended up walking with Alex to Bushwick and Halsey to check out a basement room in an apartment that he's looking at, but walks are very invigorating and good for the mind, body, soul, etc. I can be quite the homebody during the day so it is always nice to have some inspiration to leave the house for a moment

Here I am in my favorite vintage Hollister skirt, thrifted sheepskin boots, thrifted Gucci Snooki purse, silk tank top, necklaces from vacation when I was 10

inside of u there are 2 wolves

okay, before we get 2 the nitty gritty, let's address this 1st. Inside of you, there are inevitably two wolves. 1 of them is the Cool Wolf. This wolf is up on all of the hippest underground trends, rides the current of 2thaminute style effortlessly, and is a posh, developed Adult, whatever that means to you. This is the wolf half of you that wants to carry forth the mature and effortless-looking style of fashion magazines or the business world or even just a classy minimalist outfit (maybe., u get my drift?). 

wolf #2 is a little baby toddler child. The inner one. The one that just got told by mommy that it's allowed to wear whatever it wants to the first day of school this year and is about to put together the most heinously fantastic outfit the world has ever seen on a 6 year old. 

your mission, should you choose to accept it (and pls do! live dangerously but never unfashionably) is to find the HOLY MATRIMONY between these two wolves. Allow me to provide example, drawing on my own life. For me, wolf number one is House of Gucci under Alessandro Michele, chaotically fabulous patterns and 60s and 70s mod psychedelia. It's a sexy cropped blazer with slack-shorts and designer loafers. The ~Adult and Fashionable~ me wears shift dresses with sheer tights, knee socks, and glimmering platforms every day, but in a very Untouchable Chic sort of way, you know? A bit of Gossip Girl attitude takes the whole thing a long way, if I do say so myself...

[enter wolf #2, stage left]

This bithc is STUPID. Wolf number two for me loves tutus, sparkles (glitters! rhinestones!), running around in The Nude, wearing mommy's high heels to dress up, playing in the dirt, dressing up as World of Warcraft characters, and pretending to be James St. James arriving at the 'ottest raves. I skate (okay I used to but I want to start up again I just almost died 1.5 yrs ago so I'm still a bit scared!!!) so I like to wear giant t-shirts and Soffe shorts like it's gym class. the Q is, how to allow these two wolves to mesh together in harmony...??? 

step 1: cool sunglasses 

don't worry about finding any sunglasses of a designer nature, although they can be cool (I have a couple of pairs myself!) they are by no means a requirement of chic. I got this pair for $5 from FiveBelow right by the Crown Heights Target in Brooklyn and have worn them almost every day since. The cute 60s mod cat eye frames combined with the dusty blue clear plastic (00s techno can u hear me???) are the perfect combination of styles 4 me. dusty earth-tones are IN and are the basis of all of my outfits !! no more all black (or very little at least)!! 

Personally I think the idea that black is the best base tone is just completely wrong. I prefer a crisp white neutral to a crisp black always, but lately I've been more into dusty blues, greys, and browns. I dressed an early 2000s thrifted party dress down with a white embroidered button-up I got at Iguana Vintage (or whatever) in Hollywood. Knee high socks in a soft beige to dress it up again and dirty Air Max 90s to bring it back to my perfect level. 

step 2: bday party extremes

I originally went to Kansas City (oh yah that's where I was btw!) to celebrate the bdays of two beloved friends of mine, which we successfully did with an epic Austin Powers themed soirée. To me, this was the perfect chance to feed the 1st wolf and go all out ridiculous 1960s modchic. 

Shirt: 70s vintage. Skirt: vintage Abercrombie & Fitch. Shoes: gifted Miu Miu. 

extra photos:

ben and fritz ever the glamorous party guests

Peter the birthday prince!

fritz on da vintage Italian couch

step 3: know thyself

Overall I can't stress enough that the most important part of combining and honing your personal style is listening to ur inner child and maybe fine tuning it with the sensibilities of your other wolf. that is, whatever your goal look is or whatever, make sure your inner child-wolf would be happy to wear what you're wearing. and yes, this is ALWAYS achievable regardless of your goal style! harmonious matrimony can be found!

bonus: 9/11 fashion

what is the meaning of everything? (end of summer mirror reflection)

what am I reading: The Ground Beneath Her Feet by Salman Rushdie

what am I listening to: I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN by Golden Boy, Bloom by Beach House

what am I watching: Gossip Girl *the new HBO Max season

philosophy

Here I am again, once again uprooted by my own bootstraps in the truest American way since the Beatniks changed perspectives from the quiet caul-de-sac to the ever-turning rubber wheel of fate. The asphalt road of Self-Determination lies unfurling before me, and seizing the day feels good!

That is, of course, until I realized this fall's antidote to the somewhat ill-advised and hasty Hot Girl Summer of lore is an Introspective Autumn, a deep-seated processing of everything that came before it and a serious possibility of becoming a full-blown hermit in the meantime. Acceleration occurred so quickly, rushing through the doors with so much vim and vigor that my emotional core kay scrambling while my still-cooking prefrontal cortex leaped from one exciting and un-interpretable event to the next (like those big mushrooms you bounce on in Mario Kart to get across an endlessly deep and terrifying chasm of darkness). 

What is the meaning of all of this? I find myself asking. It's a question I never struggled with before, because I understood that there was none, that the world is itself what we make it to be. But the Big Deep Slow, that cosmic and everyday deceleration of life to the fraction, that moving through honey molasses and tar I experienced in quarantine I, that changed my outlook, shook it up, slowly. Because what if we're living in excess, but not just of wealth, not just of material goods, but of speed, of acceleration, of heat, of rapid fire consumption and joy and onto the next and we're missing the whole other side of life that balances everything because it requires a shift to the slow--

Yin and yang, sine and cosine, hot and cold, up and down. Everything balances on these sets of polarities, and naturally everything in-between must exist as well. The peaks are most intense, but intensity is the opposite of balance. And we've been burning towards a heat-death of entr0py as quickly as we possibly can. The more quickly we consume, the more quickly time passes. Every day I experience something which could feed the mind for a week. Each day I read more information than has ever been available for immediate consumption before. I see more, read more, should know more, but without taking pause I find that I seem to understand less and less. 

And so it came as a brief surprise (but not very much) that when I finished moving into my Crown Heights apartment, when I had broken down the last box and hung the last dress on the clothes rack, that I was still not interested in going. Going anywhere outside of the three blocks nearest my house, going out, going anywhere. Call it growing up, maturation, or just meditation, but for one of the first times in my life, I felt not antsy, nor FOMO, nor the itchy little ants in the pants that cause all sorts of irrational (but fun!) decisions to be made. 

Have I really always lived like this? Hopping from one thing to the next, day after day after day? When did I process anything? I find myself wondering if I truly know how, because some emotions unfold more delicately than rice paper, and some require the patience of a master much wiser than me, an eyesight more keen than I have yet developed. I feel as if I have all this time been drunk, and only just now sobered enough to see it, that I was born speeding and never slowed down. Piecing together the bits of days before, marveling at how I twirled from point A to point B and on and on again, inventing new letters of the alphabet when needed to avoid ever ever ending the dance.

All of this to say I wish to make room for reflection. I have glutted on fancies and experiences and eyefuls more rich and more rare than the most opulent king's, all by pursuit of my own love and truth and whimsy. I feel I have shed my skin thrice over like a lizard and been reborn stronger each time, with new shiny scales to give away like Rainbow Fish. Acceleration will come again -- it is already coming. Shaken from my resting bough like an autumn leaf not quite ripe enough to fall, and yet rustled too heavily by the wind to stick, I have drifted on metal wings to Kansas City, MO, and will be here for another week before returning to my own nest. But for now, I shall reflect, and share some photos with you all.

experience 

Beginning work as an actor in the new Incitatus Films movie (working title Silicone Valley of the Dolls) set me off on a whole new kind of bender, both a bars-and-beershotcombos bender (my first true barfly bender) and an emotional, physical, fashionable bender. Something I like about out of body drug drags is how I always come out with a liberated sense of self, and also a new sense of style and makeup look to boot. 

I've been bitten by the apocalypse bug, the dirt-covered dirt-colored neutrals and rips and layers and cargo pants bug. Admittedly I always was halfway in, but I've fallen in love with brown and green tones again from my previous place of bright 60s Austin-Powers-core mod palettes. My new thing is a sharp Elizabeth Taylor Cleopatra-type sharp eyeliner and sheer brown lipstick-lipgloss hybrid by Nars. I'm in a surprising makeup everyday phase (same look, less than 10 minutes to do) most likely brought on by watching the "Jesus of Suburbia" music video too many times in June and July. 

I think the needed change (a sudden shift from the smudgy black smoky eye I've been doing since mid-May when I visited my best friends in Chicago) came as a result of filming on set everyday, in which my character has to wear a metric ton of kohl eyeliner and blue eyeshadow, red lipstick, foundation. Taking something that was my favorite look for a while and absolutely running it into the ground, if only because it started to feel like Lisa (my character) and not Sasha anymore. 

on set the first night of full ensemble filming!

Cast and crew call was almost every day at 5pm or 7pm, usually not wrapping up until 2am or 3am most nights... for three weeks the routine was wake up, avoid the reality of impending move to NYC (this was week one of august, and I moved week four?), go to set, wrap up, go to bar (if it's before last time) or go to Ken's porch (if it's after last call) or wait in the parking lot and drink and gripe about this and that and everything. Rinse and repeat. It felt like a dance that got faster and faster and desperately needed to stop so that everyone could get a grip on themselves just for a moment but as soon as we paused for a breather we felt lost, where to go now, who to see next? On two of my three days off in the first two weeks I wandered into set out of costume anyways, helping with set deck and waiting for moments to chat with cast and crew between takes because what else was I supposed to do? The whole movie felt like summer camp.

Strayer securing ice for the cast beers

Working hard on lines! Sarah Ben and Davis

Very scary prop puppet skeletons ahhhh

Sarah being epic and cool

Ken x Burrito AU

Highly rare Traylor in action

In the middle of all this, I also found myself in New York City for the i8i / Los Angeles takes NYC weekend! Perpetuating my being on a bender to continue to be on a bender in NYC. Waking up five hours after coming home from the Trans-Pecos Fitnesss gig and going to tour an apartment that we signed a lease on three days later. 

Our housing plans fell through so Lane and I got to NYC after the most grueling 8 hour bus ride of my entire life. I was wicked hungover from going out to Fuzzy Cactus the night before and staying out at the park all night, plus I forgot to bring my water bottle and the FlixBus doesn't stop at any rest stop -- here's a pro tip, always take the Panda Bus / Chinatown bus especially if you're going south of DC! Anyways, sweating out liquor and sleeping off headaches on a bus where the driver lurches to a stop every five minutes is not a good experience and I would highly recommend avoiding such a situation at any possible cost. Luckily, Coin and Elijah both offered their couches to us, so we did not have to buy an overpriced Jersey City hotel room or anything. 

me and lane one -- fuzzy cactus in richmond <3

coin and new monitor at trans pecos

they got in trouble for the indoor cig right after this lol

me and lane trans pecos!

the closest I got to an actual fit pic 

nardo and bayo <3

I also went to the Darkmart x Neurotek rave LA vs NYC on Friday night, and saw all of my other friends from Los Angeles and ended up in Greenpoint at sunrise drinking PBR and weeping because I ran into an ex I had never expected to see again while on Molly, but it wasn't that I cared to be with him again or something, I just never at any point expected to run into him there? So I was really caught off guard. But alas! C'est la vie and we're all just floating by, and what's the fun of life if you can't have a bit of an overdramatic cry on a beautiful studio rooftop sometimes?

Anyways, if there's more to say I'm sure I'll say it sometime, but for now I feel like I've had enough for this post. Hope you all enjoyed this installment, I'm sure I'll have more to say sooner rather than later! xoxo signing off stay glamorous and stay insightful! love u 

Sasha

PROLAPS EVENT??? (new yooork.... NEWWWW YOOORK)

Hello again youuu guys! I am very excited to say that for this blog post, I thought a lot about it on my trip and made sure to take extra pictures for you guys, so this is the NYC photo dump special :P 

I stumbled into the great city of New York from the womb of the van Alex and I drove across country together last year, in the blistering summer of 2020. In the brief two weeks between my Los Angeles trip and my arrival in nyc, I DJ'd two raves in Richmond with my friends down there, took my cat to the vet twice, landed a role in an indie film (more on that later!), and completed a leg of a super serious DND campaign. Basically, I was swamped from the moment I jumped on that West Coast-bound flight and I've hardly taken a breath since -- ! 

Anyways, this will be where I regale you with tales and images from the Death By Sheep Summer Jam 2021 >:3 also known as the PROLAPS EVENT!!! Since Dominic and I first heard Prolaps, we were determined to play a show with them... this all started because I (as a joke) asked Dominic if he wanted to come with me to New York, and then he said YES, which I never expected, and the rest is history...... 

Day 1!

Alex and I drove through probably three whole HOURS of traffic to get to JFK Airport, which was dumb, but Dominic is a bit of a diva (<3) and had to be picked up from the airport in the van. We got burritos from the burrito place down in the Far Rockaways (look up "burrito spot" on Google no joke, that's how we found it).  We got there just before the rain and took some twins pics on the beach and ate the burritos >:3

 It was Dominic's first time ever going to the East Coast, let alone New York City, so of course I had to take him to Times Square for some classic tourism behavior. Riding the train into the city late at night feels like just as important of an NYC tourism experience to me as the actual Times Square (which, honestly, is only cool for about ten minutes before it's time to leave). 

Puppy Tapes gig (T-2 days until Summer Jam)

The next day Dominic and I completed highly secret ritual practice in order to align our energies with the high-frequency vibrations of the city (most important initial action when drawing on core energetic power in any location). After that, we were excited to wind down with little R&R...

JUST KIDDING! No rest for the wicked, they always say, and apparently no rest for two perfect and beautiful angels like Extinction Event either, because Thursday night was the Puppy Tapes euphoric hardtrance laser light rave event at H0L0! Aside from my dumb choice to wear platform flip-flops from the 90s to walk the 2 or 3 miles there and back from the airBNB, it was a lot of fun. DO NOT wear the flops to the rave though you will totally end up with blisters in a bad way! 

Anyways, everyone who played was great, the track selection was impeccable, and I met some new DJ friends, so the night was a smashing success. 

Day 3: Italian Americans are real????

Dominic and I take the train into the city on day 3 of our grandiose adventure because Dominic wants to reconnect with the patria, and what better place to take an Italian in the Windy Apple than a real Italian restaurant? We walked through Chinatown first, stopping in every cheap market to see what amazing souvenir finds we could make. I almost got a Tails the Hedgehog backpack, but the pocket inside was so ridiculously small that it wouldn't even hold my phone. That's fine, we press on. Dominic and I both get fans because of how swelteringly hot it was. Oh yeah, have I mentioned that yet? Anyone who lives in the city knows, I'm sure, but holy SHIT, it was like walking through a hot, stinky pudding the whole first half of the week. I would walk outside and immediately become damp and sticky like a frog.

Finally we decide we're hungry, but where to go...? We stop in Little Italy and hit the weed pen a few times, thinking... Dominic wants real pizza, not cheap pizza, so we're going to look for a place like that, when suddenly the veil is lifted behind him, and a beautiful, humble pizza restaurant reveals itself to us. Da Nicos. 

Personally, I'm convinced that we only found this place because Dominic has Italian blood, so it revealed itself to us like the sword in the lake or that one door in the side of the mountain in The Hobbit. Laugh all you want, but the inside was like Artie Bucco's spot from The Sopranos or something. We were maybe the only people in there who weren't Italian. Someone's grandma (the matriarch, I presume) was seated at a little table by the kitchen, and all the waiters stopped one by one to have conversations in speedy Italian with her. The waiters were a perfect amount of rude. And the FOOD! 

I got the caprese and a prosciutto pizza, and oh, were they good. The tomatoes and mozzarella were so fresh, and the pizzas were coal fired with the perfect mix of soft and crispy crust. Plus, everything was priced very reasonably and sized to fatten you up! (Not even a paid advertisement I just really liked Da Nico's.)

After we left Da Nico's we got paparazzi'd by some guy on the train platform, he told us we looked "so St. Mark's Place" and took a bunch of photos of us as the trains came in. Yeah, we're famous now ~

DAY 4: DEATH BY SHEEP SUMMER JAM 2021   

SUMMER JAM FINALLY HERE! Have you ever seen a lineup more stacked with homies and hotties of musical talent???  Honestly, the photos and videos tell a better story than I can alone. (All of the following are taken by Jean, @jntza on instagram!)

Lots of friends showed up from all kinds of different places, I even reconnected with someone I haven't seen since high school (and didn't ever expect to see again) -- she didn't know I was playing and I didn't know she lived in NYC. Magic happens when the rave is good, okayyyy? 

I was super nervous about playing live, and there were definitely a couple of hangups, but I'm glad about the new direction Extinction Event is moving in. We're looking to push more into a kind of abstract performance. The name of this set is Entropy. The name of the next one will evolve with the seconds, an eternal wave on the tide of our thought and experience. 

MET MUSEUM

I ALMOST FORGOT that we went to the Met before the show! We went through the Egyptian sections and the ancient Greco Roman sections and coveted alllll of the beautiful golden jewelry with precious stone faces. Dominic told me recently that you can buy ancient rings from Sotheby's for like $1000. Who wants to chip in?

REST OF TRIP

Honestly this blog post has taken too long to write and get out into the world and I have even more new things to write about and share, so I'm going to end this here with some more photos. Suffice it to say that we had an amazing last couple of days of the trip... :)

BONUS: two collages that Dom made!